Monday, April 11, 2016

Post Spring Break Blahs

The biggest First World problem ever seems to be coming back from a week in Hawaii and complaining about returning to an overcast April day in Southern California.  I saw the ocean today on my morning post office run and whereas it usually makes me happy, today I kind of sneered at it's  dark gray-blue waves and cloudy sky.  I hadn't had my coffee yet and didn't think to wear socks.  I'm much more agreeable now.  Actually, honestly, I'm glad to be back at home and back at work.  Coffee and socks helped.

However, if I'm going to be honest & spill my guts on here, I have to say that I do have some heaviness weighing on me.  Remember how I wrote after the girls had their last call back at OCSA?  Well, after a week of franticly checking our phones for THE E-MAIL all last week (which I refuse to complain about because we were checking it in Hawaii) the word from up high came down.  One girl was accepted to her first choice conservatory and the other.....waitlisted on hers.  I never really thought much about that combination.  I thought about one yes, one no, no across the board, and the holy grail of Yes! Yes! many times, but not the eventuality of one yes and one maybe.  And this has sent the household in mad chaos.  

How do you properly congratulate and beam pride over one child, when her sister is sitting there heartbroken?  And how do you rule out the move and one child's dream, when you could be told in a couple months that it's all still possible?  We can't start looking for houses and yet we can't be totally placated into life as usual.

What we do is hope our asses off, keep saying yes to all schools involved, and just wait -- checking our phones constantly for emails of some news over the next 4 months.  Because by god, if this can work, we'll make it work.  

And yes, while we are super supportive of our daughters artistic dreams, there is this other piece of the puzzle I've yet to lay on the table.  My mom has cancer and as much as my kids want to go to OCSA, I need to go back to Orange County to care for my mom.  Though, we can't just drop our lives here to go there for that reason...she would never allow it.  And we don't have a time frame.  All the pieces need to fit.  

Yes, it sucks.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

So, I left Happy Valley & apparently left my blog as well.

So, the blogging thing didn't really work out for me.  I guess I was too busy being snarky on Facebook because that takes like zero effort. And TBH, it was kind of exhausting even trying to write about the hilarity of Happy Valley and stay anonymous -- which is why I'm much funnier IRL or at least being sort of IRL with my RL friends on the Faceplace.  I also don't really want to be mean, so you know, there's not a lot to write about in a theme-y blog.

However, as so much has changed and I know people don't really read blogs, I've decided to just kind of write on this one.  Truth?  I can't find my journal and sometimes I just want to write. Even more truth? Since LiveJournal days, I've found that it's not as gratifying writing in my journal knowing no one else is going to read it.  If I write something funny and no one reads it, am I even really funny at all? (If they read it & don't find it funny though, I'm still funny, they just don't get it).

Since I last wrote many years ago, I have escaped Happy Valley. Remember  how I said I wanted to leave....well I did it! When the kids graduated from 6th grade, we were able to be set free.  We moved a couple freeway exits from the Happy Valley to Solana Beach.  No name for a cutesy name here, like I said the anonymity is too much work.  It's Solana Beach and it's lovely.  It's basically kick-back coastal people with a handful of cranky olds.  We love Solana Beach so much, but right now I'm actually up in Orange County because one of the girls had a callback audition at OCSA and if both girls get in, we will be moving back here.  Yes, back here. I'm from here. This is the Happy Valley-type place I originally ran from in the early 90's.  This is why I had such a hard time in Happy Valley because it was so much like Orange County.  But, this is what we do for our kids.

Though this is by no means a done deal.  From what I'm told OCSA (Orange County School of the Art) has a 7-14% acceptance rate and that it's not as easy coming in as a 9th grade versus a 7th grader.  Had we known this was an option in 7th grade, however, I don't know if I would have been able to make this agreement to move here.  There's now backstory of the family variety in play and it's time to adult in a whole new way.  We won't know anything until early April, so I just sit on this -- which makes it all very not exciting for a blog.  Actually, none of this is exciting.  Apologies.

I will, however, attempt to write about my new reality more frequently in the future.